Underthings Revealed!
by CoD and Posterior Praiser
Summary: A story about, you guessed it, underwear! A few short blurbs involving various undergarments and our cute little pot boys... (WARNING- Will contain utter stupidity)


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A/N- Posterior Praiser here. This fic was born of stupidity, and I apologise in advance for any scars it may inflict upon your psyche. It all started with a stupid blurb I thought of involving Yukimura and Tezuka having a match…

Neither myself nor Cheeseburger of Doom claim to own anything but our underwear lol

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Underthings Revealed

"I...I have to know, da ne." Yanagisawa was currently giving Yuuta a hopeful look. "I was hoping you might help me, da ne."

"...why would you want me to help you?" Yuuta demanded.

"Because Mizuki likes you, da ne. If he catches us, he'd be less likely to kill me if you're there, da ne."

Yuuta sighed. "I just don't understand why you would want to know something like that."

"I had this weird nightmare, da ne. The question burns in my mind, da ne."

"But...Mizuki-san's underwear is his own personal business, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I'm getting more and more curious about how horrible it must be, da ne..."

Yanagisawa's reasons for wanting to find out the style of Mizuki Hajime's underwear were not very good ones. Yuuta had a sinking feeling that Yanagisawa just wanted to see because he was a huge pervert -- but the thought was too disturbing to dwell on for very long.

"Please Yuuta? I'll love you forever, da ne."

Yuuta twitched. "How about if I help you, you promise never to love me?"

"I can do that too, da ne."

And that was how Yuuta managed to find himself standing outside of Mizuki's room one night, guarding Yanagisawa's back.

"Ah, here's the drawer, da ne. I...holy shit, da ne!"

"Keep quiet!" Yuuta hissed.

"But...you have to see this, da ne! I don't even believe it, da ne!"

Yuuta was bombarded with various mental images, which he was sure were going to scar him for life. He suddenly found himself with the burning need to know just what Yanagisawa was looking at. He burst into the room.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Mizuki wears boxers, da ne! Plaid ones!"

"...plaid boxers? But that's so...so..." Yuuta racked his brain to try and come up with the right word. "...boyish."

"I think I need to go and lie down, da ne."

"Just what exactly are you two doing in my room?" demanded a rather angry voice.

"Ah! We were, uh..." Yanagisawa tried to think of a good excuse. "Just raiding your panty drawer, da ne!" ...and failed.

"I see. Well, if you're quite finished, I suggest that you both leave. Now. Or there are going to be some drastic changes in your training schedules."

"Ah! We're going now, da ne! This won't happen again, da ne!" Yanagisawa squawked, and he pulled Yuuta out of the room.

"Are you satisfied now?" Yuuta asked grumpily.

"Well...I'm actually disturbed, da ne. I mean, my underwear is girlier than Mizuki's da ne."

"..."

"I thought for sure his would be lacy too, da ne."

Yuuta was once more bombarded with various mental images. Then, he fainted.

-----

A much anticipated match was set to take place between Seishun Gakuen's tennis team captain, Tezuka Kunimitsu, and Rikkaidai's captain, Yukimura Seiichi.

The stage was set, and a rather large crowd had surrounded the tennis court, which included most of the cast of The Prince of Tennis, even the characters no one remembers.

Yukimura served and the heated battle began.

Tezuka was watching Yukimura intently as he moved back and forth on the court, returning each shot, until he abruptly stopped, losing the point to Yukimura.

"..."

The rest of the Seigaku regulars were immediately alarmed.

"Sa, Tezuka, are you alright?" Fuji asked from the sidelines, and received no response.

Yukimura looked a little confused and then the realization hit him.

"Oh. He must have noticed my lucky garter…"

The crowd directed their eyes to the black, lacy band on Yukimura's left thigh as he lifted the leg of his shorts to observe it for a moment.

"I'm sorry, its just that that thing is very…eye-catching…"

"Oh, do you like it? Genichirou bought it for me for my birthday."

Yukimura turned his head in the vice captain's direction and gave him a quick wink.

Niou, Marui, and Kirihara began to burst out laughing, and Sanada made an attempt to maintain his manly dignity by giving them all his 'I'll kill you if you don't shut up this second' look.

"Sa, Tezuka. Would you like me to buy you one? It would go quite nicely with the corset and short shorts..."

Tezuka once again ignored the tensai, and the rest of his team who were all now laughing at his expense. Even Kaido and Ryoma were having difficulties keeping a straight face. In fact, the rest of Japan's top Jr. High tennis players were laughing at him.

Tezuka made a mental note: Never play Yukimura Seiichi again, and make the entire world run a million laps.

---------

"Ore-sama's eyes have been scarred for life."

Atobe said to his personal psychiatrist, who was trying to get to the bottom of his recent emotional turmoil.

"Now what did you see exactly, Atobe-san"

"Ore-sama would rather not recall it…"

This psychiatrist was not willing to accept Atobe's answer, mainly because he got paid by the hour.

"We must get to the root of your recent breakdown, Atobe-san. Please tell me"

"Well it all started when ore-sama was playing doubles with my helpful minion, Kabaji. Everything was going fine. We were winning 5-2, until Kabaji ran in front of me to catch a shot that required a more powerful return. He bent over and…and it was horrible!"

Atobe began to twitch slightly, as he recited the horrible course of events

"He..He…he was wearing a thong!!!"

Anyone else surely would have burst into tears, but Atobe Keigo had far more self control than to do something like that.

"Ore-sama fell into shock, and was unable to perform to the best of my abilities, and as a result we lost the match."

The Psychiatrist nodded. "Please continue."

"When ore-sama asked Kabaji about it afterward, all he could say was 'Usu'. I really have to start training my minions better…."

"Well it seems that talking about this traumatic experience has had a soothing effect, has it not?"

Aobe shook his head, and stood up from the couch.

"Not really, actually…"

-----

Sanada rubbed sleepy eyes, and wondered why exactly he was awake. It didn't take too long to figure it out -- there was someone sitting at the end of his bed.

"Ah, I've come to give you your punishment," said a low and seductive voice. The sound of a whip cracking rang in his ears.

"I must be having a nightmare," Sanada muttered. He pinched himself a few times -- but he didn't wake up. "Who the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing in my house?"

"I've come to make all your fantasies come true!" the voice purred. The lights came on, and Sanada's vision was filled with Niou, clad in a tiny leather outfit, looking very pleased with himself.

"...you're at the wrong house," Sanada growled. "Again."

The whip cracked. "Well, since I'm here, why don't we have some fun?"

"If you don't get out within the next five minutes, I'm going to ensure that you're not able to have fun ever again."

"...you're such a party pooper," Niou pouted, and then he let himself out the window.

Sanada had only just fallen asleep again, when he was rudely awakened by the sound of a whip.

"I thought I told you to go home!" he exclaimed. He turned on the lights, and his vision was filled with Yukimura in a tiny leather outfit. His mouth dropped open.

"Seiichi?"

"Would you like to have some fun?" Yukimura asked.

Sanada pinched himself yet again, but it still wasn't a dream. Then he realized something -- the outfit was identical to the one Niou had been wearing earlier. Either he and Yukimura shopped at the same bondage store, or --

"Nice try, Niou. Now get lost."

-----

Inui was scribbling furiously in his green notebook as he watched Fuji and Eiji play one another in a practice match.

"Data dictates that Fuji will win this match, however, it seems that Eiji is playing better than usual…"

"Hiss Inui-sempai, Why do you think Kikumaru-sempai is playing better than usual?"

"It may be a change in his underwear Kaido."

Kaido blushed slightly "How can something like that improve your play?"

Inui looked up from his notebook toward Kaido, and began to explain.

"I'm really not sure, but Kikumaru must be wearing his red boxers that over time I have found give him an edge when he plays…"

"Hiss Uh, Inui-sempai, how do you know what underwear we all wear?"

"My data is very thorough Kaido."

Hiss

"Well I know everyone's preferences, and the underwear that makes them play best. I guess I never bothered to mention that before…"

Kaido looked more than a little frightened at the prospect of this knowledge. It was just too weird.

"You see how Fuji is returning that serve, Kaido? That means…" Inui began to chuckle.

Kaido could not help but be curious for some reason.

"Hiss Why are you laughing, Inui-sempai?"

"Well…It seems that Fuji decided to wear his Sponge Bob Square Pants panties today…"

There was a cry from the court as Fuji returned one of Eiji's shots so fast that it left a dent in the court beside Eiji.

"Nya Fuji!!! Why did you do that?! You could have killed me!!!"

Fuji looked across the court to Eiji.

"Sa. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Kaido looked on with amazement. Maybe there was something to his sempai's data.

The next day Kaido walked past Inui on his way to practice.

"Sponge Bob Square Pants, Kaido?"

Kaido hissed and continued to walk by.

-----

Fin


End file.
